Upon the enlightenment of knowing that one needs a goat, thou shalt first double-check the meat dispensa (an underground barracks-like area) to be sure that no more rotting goat flesh is still left hanging from its once vivid loins. With confirmation that only flies exist in the dormant space, thou shalt next seek the advice of the all knowing Gaucho Manuel. With a lick of his finger pointed towards the sky and a glance at the sun – Manuel will tell you to visit the Keeper and hence the Killer of the Goats – in short – Hugo. Through threaded thorn bush and scraggly scamper weed one must wander for nigh an hour until the home of the Goat Killer is spotted. A quaint house of adobe and brick that lies beyond, yes you guessed it, a flock of goats. But lest thine flock of goats be roaming amongst scraggly scamper weed – yee shall return on another sun for ´tis past time for killing.
Fear not ´tis your lucky morn´ as all the goats are accounted for in their pen. The Goat Killer is spotted in the distance – knife in hand, towel in the other. He stays this way nary a movement, until you approach his presence with a typical greeting followed by an atypical request – you ask to kill the goat yourself. Silence shatters as he belts out a laugh loud enought to make goats pee in their pens. They know what is coming. But it looks as though you will not be the doer of the deed.
Lasso in hand the Goat Killer serenely selects from his stock, whilst you wait beside the pen disillusioned that your opportunity has passed. The moment is heated, not by the sun, but by the focused eyes of the Goat Killer. Gazing at his victims, alas one is selected. Do not waste a second in confusion at the sounds you will hear – a human like ¨Nooooo, Nooooooooooo,¨as if it were mixed with a goat – will pour from the victim´s throat. Tied up and held down, the selection will make no attempt at escape nor hard feelings in your direction. A quick, precise stab to the throat by the Goat Killer followed by a twist of the knife will separate the selection´s major arterial structure along with its trachea. The resulting pool of blood will nary have a chance to coagulate before being eaten by a mangy pack of mutts, leftovers quickly gobbled up by the chickens. A quick fillet of the skin and separation of internal organs will prove this goat to be yours, but lest yee forget the tariff on this service – half thine goat shall be not for thou but for thoust Killer of Goats.